Being a Passenger in England - Please Pass the Alcohol!

Ok, so driving in the UK is challenging for an Ex-Pat, we all know that.

You don't know what most of the traffic signs mean...roundabouts are stressful and using your left hand to shift gears takes some getting used to.

But being a passenger? ummmm....wow!

My honey finally arrived in England this month and she started picking up some of the driving responsibilities. If you think your perspective is odd while you are driving on the right side of the car, it's WAY worse when you are a passenger on the left side.

Alex is an excellent driver and she did most of the driving in the US. And I like to think that I am a very good passenger (defined as "limited"to "no" backseat driving). However, when I arrived to work one day this week, my colleague asked me if I was ok...she said I looked really bothered. The truth was that I was so tense that I needed a yoga class, a massage, a large glass of wine or all of the above. I'm bordering on an anxiety attack just thinking about it now.

So each day she drives...I try...I REALLY try to keep calm. I know I'm annoying....I know I'm not helping matters...I want to be supportive, but it's SO hard!

Any suggestions from my loyal followers?

Adjusting to Life as an Ex-Pat

I received an email yesterday from one of my (8) loyal followers who commended me because it seems that I am adjusting to life in England so well. This got me to thinking...am I adjusting? Am I giving one perspective on this blog and really feeling something different? How am I, really?

The answer is that I've accepted where I am, but that living here is not all kittens and puppy dogs. It's been really difficult leaving my family behind for a few months while I get settled here and they prepare to come here. I've found that my mind is so full of things that need to be done, that I forget the silliest things (like the pin number for my debit card). I am lonely and consider my laptop to be my friend (kind of like Wilson the volleyball in that Tom Hanks movie). At times, I get too focused on work and realize that my teeth are clenched, my neck and shoulders are sore and I haven't done anything to take care of "me" all day. I miss seeing my friends and being able to make plans for dinner with family.

I get through this all by focusing on the positive and the possibilities, by trying to rememember to take care of myself and by taking advantage of what living in Europe affords me. I meditate, go for bike rides, do mantras and get massages. I treat myself (too often) to dinners that consist of baguette, camembert cheese or something like a huge bowl of pasta and two glasses of wine! I am very friendly with the cashiers at the local grocery market...when they ask if I'm alright, I'll launch into the fact that I am new to the town, to the country and that I will be here for two years. They are usually kind and listen to me and give me a smile. I use technology to connect to my loved ones via FaceTime. I think about what I am grateful for and try to get some exercise every now and then.

Basically, I am using the same coping mechanisms I used back in the US to cope with life here.

Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop.  ~Ovid
Some things I am grateful for today (not in any particular order):

• kindness of strangers
• personal strength
• camembert cheese
• the internet
• my health
• the love of someone who completely accepts me for who I am....who I feel at ease with whenever I am around...who loves me so deeply I think we've known and loved each other in a different life.
• family

Some things I am not grateful for today (in no particular order):

• that my temporary bed (an air mattress) has sprung a leak and I wake up in the morning between two giant air bubbles, but essentially sleeping on the floor
• the fact that despite signing up with my cable/phone/internet provider 6 weeks ago, my phone was just turned on last week and I'll have internet at the end of this week! (don't ask about cable!)

Surviving the First Week

By this time, I've actually made it through three weeks, but I typed up this post after my first week and thought I'd make it my first even though it's a little delayed. 

I'd been in a fog all week due to time changes, lack of good sleep, new patterns and a little bit of homesickness. It was REALLY helpful that I have FaceTime to see and talk to my honey and that my friend Kris was here to keep me company.

So here's a rundown of my first week:

Tuesday - arrived safely and went straight to the office because I
couldn't check into my flat until 3:00. Get to my desk, pull out my
lease for the phone number of the property mgr to let him know when I'd
be picking up my key and realize that my lease starts the NEXT day! I
have no place to stay! Called him anyway to see if I can check in early
and no such luck! I was lucky enough to find a hotel, but this meant
dragging 150 pounds of luggage into the hotel and up to my room. Happy
to have a place to stay! Popped an ambien, watched some tv and fell
asleep!

Wednesday - first day using the train to and from work. This is a very
new experience for me, so it was nerve wracking! Successfully bought a
monthly pass (I know...no big deal...but it was for me). Almost got on a
train to Manchester, but people are so nice here and I quickly realized
it and hopped off the train. Got to Basingstoke and realized that I
wasn't entirely sure where the shuttle pick up was. Had a minor panic
attack, then found a woman who's on my team and she guided me in the right direction. 

I had an all-day meeting then found the shuttle back to the
station and almost got on the wrong train back to Reading. Met the
property mgr at the door of my temporary home and dragged 150 pounds of
bags up three flights of stairs! BTW, my flat has no freezer and no AC!
Lesson learned...when renting a flat in the UK make sure they say "fully
fitted" kitchen. It's good to be "home" and to unpack. Made my first
trip to the grocery store...so much fun looking at all the different
things (yes, grocery shopping IS fun for nerds like me). 

Thursday - Showers are invigorating...especially when there's no HOT
water! For some reason they turned the water heater off before I checked
in and didn't feel the need to remind me to turn it on. On the bright
side, it was exactly what I needed to wake me up! Made it to work with
no problem. Met my friend Kris and one of her old colleagues for dinner in London! I made it all the way to London via train and took the tube all by myself to Leicester Square! Ok, so the train I got on was the slow train and it took me and extra 30 minutes to get there, but another lesson learned...make sure you get on the fast train, even if you have to wait 7 minutes. 

The air conditioner was not functioning on my train and I begin to wonder...did I put deodorant on this morning? I cannot, to save my life, remember any details from this morning. I begin to try to (very discreetly) smell my armpits. They don't smell, I think. I arrive at the tube station, get on my tube and have to stand holding one of those overhead bars because the tube is so full. Again...do my pits stink? Is that guy next to me wishing he had a gas mask? Get out of the tube station and it's like Times Square...so many people! Where's Kris? She's not there so I decide, I MUST find deodorant. Walked a bit...found a store and and bought some. Get the pits taken care of, find Kris...finally, I can relax. Had an amazing dinner in Chinatown at a"grotty" but good place and got to know a new person and hear about his impending move to Scotland. 

Friday - stumble out of bed, take a hot shower (yay!) and make my way to
the station. I get to what I think is my platform and quickly realize
that platform 5 is that platform on the way home, not the way to work. I
run...yes run...to what i think is platform 2, hop on the train "in the
nick of time" and note that I am on the wrong train AGAIN. Oops..went to
the left side of the platform instead of the right. Oh well...with all
of my rushing around I missed my train. Next train is in 30 minutes and
I was frankly very happy to have 30 minutes to breathe and to get my
bearings back. 

This is the universe telling me to slow down and to pay
attention. I'm listening. I decide that I'm leaving the office early
today to come home for a nap before I meet Kris and another ex-colleague
of hers tonight and that I will spend the day really focusing
on slowing down and thinking about what I am doing. We'll see how that
goes!